I have had some information delivered to me in some unique ways. Lets begin with the stories of me finding out about my pregnancies. Yes, all three of my children were unexpected blessings who are all five years apart. For reasons I won't get into they do have different fathers. Judge me if you want, I know I'm good with my maker on decisions I have made and the miracles that resulted. 

I will start with my first child, Izaiah. (I spelt his name with a Z for uniqueness ... I was 18 years old and now I understand I created aggravation for my poor boy... lol). I met Izaiah's father when I was about 16 years old working at a club in Brockton, MA. It was a popular club at the time since they were advertising it on a popular radio station. I worked the coat check and he was security (Brotherhood Security). He introduced me to the club scene and a drug called ecstasy and I was in LOVE!! (with the drugs and the clubs). After I got romantic and hung out with Joel for a while I found out he had a girlfriend he had for 6 years! I was so mad and still so young. I stopped talking to him but started feeling funny for a few days and had missed my period. I called my good friend/ex-boyfriend, Jared and asked him to come to the bar with me and I needed to take a pregnancy test. I was 18 years old at the time but had my older sister's ID which said I was 24 years old. Jared picked me up and we went to a local dive bar. We sat and drank for a while then I decided it was time to go to the bar bathroom and take my pregnancy test. As I got up to take it, Jared grabbed my arm and said "I know you are pregnant." and right at that moment my pager (yes I'm that old...pagers happened before cell phones for anyone wondering) went off and it was Joel (father to be). I thought that was weird since we hadn't spoken in three weeks. I went to the bathroom and found out I was, indeed, pregnant. The test said it would take a minute for results but fk me if it didn't say I was pregnant 15 seconds later!! OMG!! Now I'm 18, drunk, in a dive bar bathroom finding out I'm pregnant and trying to figure out what I do next. I walked out of the bathroom to see a payphone in front of me. I called Joel who didn't answer. I left a message that said "I'm drunk at the bar. Just found out I was pregnant and it's yours, I'll call you later." I proceeded to go back to sit with Jared. I was crying and the bartender walked up and asked what was wrong. I told her I just found out I was pregnant in the bathroom, she said the next round was on her and it was.

Five years later I had been with Derek, my daughter's father, for about 4 years when we were at this phase of our completely dysfunctional relationship. Our relationship was drug fueled and messy. I missed a period and took a home test and it wasn't a clear yes or no so I went to the doctor to get a blood test. I wasn't sure and was at the doctor all alone when the nurse came in with the results. She informed me right away that I was NOT pregnant! I was so relieved and she could tell. "I'm guessing you weren't planning for a baby." I told her I was NOT and she left the room while I sat there knowing it was best not to bring a child into our crazy relationship. After a few minutes she came back in the room and started apologizing. I was confused until she finally told me, "I'm sorry I read the test results wrong, you ARE pregnant. OMGGG WTFFFF! Then she took my blood pressure which was expectedly high. 

Number three was another crazy moment. Now I was 28 years old and this was when I had been homeless in the city of Brockton for a year. I had warrants and was finally caught after the warrant detectives had chased me around for 8 months. I had been heavily addicted to cocaine and had been awake 14 days when I was arrested. I was so tired the court officers had to hold me up (physically hold me up) in front of the judge who ordered me to Framingham State Prison to be detained for the probation violations. I slept on the floor of the paddy wagon the whole way to Framingham. When we got there we went through the usual procedure, being x-rayed for drugs, a naked shower in front of correction officers, strip search and pregnancy test. In that prison there are three colors the inmates wear. Green if you are a civil commit or being detained for violations, tan if you are convicted and blue if you are pregnant so everyone knows. I was in my greens waiting for my cell assignment, sleeping on the bench praying I got a cell soon so I could sleep comfortably. I hadn't noticed I was the last girl still waiting for a cell assignment when the biggest bulldike CO busted the door in. "You know you're pregnant, right?" she said in her loud rough manly voice. She threw my blues at me and I decided I would deal with it as soon I woke up. I was sent to my bunk (I get the bottom bunk when pregnant which was a perk) and the next morning I began to decide what I was going to do.

The rest of these stories will be shared eventually but I wanted to share how I got the news! LOL


Anonymous said…
But you Have made it so hold your Head High and I was headed Down a long path too.
jessie said…